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(Created by The Institute for Social Intervention)

  • Decisions about who to marry and have children are likely to have more effect on future happiness than any other decisions in life, so they are worth considering as clear-minded as possible, given that we can be so easily misled in the first flush of love.
  • About half of the following questions derive from academic research findings about long-term success and failure in marriage and human relationships. If both you and your partner are trying this test, simply discuss your final marks together.    
  • Please give marks, 0 to 10, (10 = very true, down to 0 - not true at all) to the following questions.
  • Answer the questions as honestly as possible, since you do not have to show the results to anybody else - and there is nobody to deceive but yourself.

1)     There is very little conflict in our relationship.

2)          When there is conflict we handle it very satisfactorily.

3)          I find myself agreeing with my partner far more often   

              than disagreeing.

4)           If my partner ended up developing a similar character to

               his/her parents, or became like them in old age, I would
               be very happy about this.

5)            I feel that I can share all my feelings, good and bad, with

               my partner and that he/she does the same with me.

6)           My partner is very similar to me in cultural, social,

              intellectual and economic background and probably in

7)           We share similar philosophies of life or spiritual beliefs.

8)           We share the same sense of humor.

9)           My partner's health is good, I would describe him/her as

              basically a happy person and I don't think he/she is likely
              to suffer from depressions, obsession, anorexia, or other
              eating disorders, excessive anxieties or other mental 
              health problems.

10)        My partner is sensitive and kind and not selfish or


11)        If I lived in a society where parents arranged marriages
              for their children, my partner is just the kind of person
              my parents might have chosen for me.

12)        We have a lot of conversational interests in common. I
              enjoy his/her conversation on a variety of topics and I like
              his/her friends.

13)       Judging by track record to date, my partner is
            monogamous when in a serious relationship.

14)      We agree on the extent of freedom within marriage as
            regards other relationships and I, therefore, don't think
            jealousy will be a problem for either of us.

15)      Our intimate relationship is extremely good.

  • Add up your totals.
  • Take away 10 if you have lived together for less than 6 months.
  • Divide your total by the maximum possible (150).
  • Multiply by 100 for your Marriage Compatibility Percentage score.

        (Example: Your total is 120.
                    120 divided by 150 = 0.8.
                    100 x 0.8 = 80.)

PLEASE NOTE:     If you are less than 70% compatible, you may well have to struggle hard to maintain a long-term relationship and might be well advised to delay having children for several years until you are sure that the relationship will work out.

          If you are less than 50% compatible, this could be a sign not to rush into marriage.